Merchandise|June 23, 2026|5 min read

The 2026 Gift Guide for No Such Thing as a Fish Fans: What to Buy the Quirkiest Fact-Lover in Your Life

From the classic tee to the premium hoodie, find the perfect gift for the fan who loves obscure facts and hilarious banter. Our guide covers every price range and fan type.

By The Merch Editorial Team

Why This Is a Great Time to Gift Merch

Let's be honest: finding the right gift for a No Such Thing as a Fish fan isn't hard - they're basically a walking encyclopedia of random facts and have probably already told you about the time Dan Schreiber tried to prove that ducks can quack in echo. But the right piece of merch? That's where you show you actually listen to the podcast. And since the show keeps dropping new episodes weekly (have you heard the one about the octopus that can edit its own genes?), there's never a bad time to snag something from the official No Such Thing as a Fish store. Whether it's for a birthday, holiday, or just because, a quality shirt or hoodie is the kind of gift that gets worn to death - in the best way.

Top Picks by Price Range

Under $25: The No Such Thing as a Fish Classic T-Shirt

At $24.99, the No Such Thing as a Fish Classic T-Shirt is the ultimate entry-level gift. It's made from 100% ring-spun cotton that's pre-shrunk and super soft - no stiff cardboard feel here. The relaxed unisex fit works for everyone, and the simple front print lets the podcast's name do the talking. If you're buying for someone who's never owned fan merch before, this is the safest bet. And hey, it pairs perfectly with that episode about the history of the safety pin.

Under $35: The No Such Thing as a Fish Polo Shirt

For fans who want to look a little sharper while still repping the pod, the No Such Thing as a Fish Polo Shirt at $34.99 is a great middle ground. It's got the same podcast branding but in a collar that says "I have my life together (sort of)." Perfect for wearing to a live show or just to the grocery store when you want to look like you might know something about the world's smallest cat.

Under $50: The No Such Thing as a Fish Premium Hoodie

When the weather turns cold and you need something that feels like a hug from a fact-checker, the No Such Thing as a Fish Premium Hoodie at $49.99 is the move. It's thick, cozy, and has a front pocket perfect for holding your phone while you listen to the latest episode about how wombat poop is cube-shaped. This is the gift for the fan who listens to every episode while walking the dog or doing dishes.

Under $20: The No Such Thing as a Fish Tank Top

Summer gifting? The No Such Thing as a Fish Tank Top is only $19.99 and brings the same soft cotton feel without sleeves. Great for beach trips, barbecues, or just lounging around while reading about the surprising origins of the word "OK." It's a low-cost, high-enjoyment option.

Best for Different Fan Types

The Die-Hard Listener

This is someone who's been there since episode 1, can quote James Harkin's animal facts from memory, and probably owns a library of books about useless information. For them, go with the Premium Hoodie - it's a statement piece that says "I'm in the club." Or pair the hoodie with the Classic T-Shirt for a complete look. They might even wear both at once (layering is a thing, right?).

The Casual Fan

Maybe they caught a clip on TikTok or listened to a couple episodes on a road trip. They like the vibe but aren't obsessed yet. The Classic T-Shirt is perfect - low commitment, high recognition. It's also a great conversation starter: "Oh, you listen to No Such Thing as a Fish? Did you know ..."

The Gift Giver Who's Also a Fan

If you're buying for yourself (no judgment), the Polo Shirt is a nice upgrade from the tee. Or snag a Tank Top for summer workouts - nothing says "I'm getting gains" like a shirt that references a podcast about the world's most bizarre facts.

The Person Who Has Everything

For the fan who already owns all the basic merch, consider a gift bundle. You could grab the Classic T-Shirt and Premium Hoodie together (about $75 total) for a full set. Or pair the polo with the tank top for a two-season wardrobe. The point is: you can't go wrong with more cotton and more podcast pride.

Sizing Tips for Gifts

Sizing can be tricky when you're buying for someone else, but the merch is designed to be forgiving. The Classic T-Shirt and Tank Top are pre-shrunk, so what you see is what you get - no surprises after the first wash. The fit is relaxed unisex, meaning it's not too baggy but not skin-tight either. If you're between sizes, go up for a looser look (perfect for lounging). The Premium Hoodie runs true to size but has a bit of room for layering. The Polo Shirt is more tailored, so if the recipient likes a clean fit, stick with their usual size. When in doubt, check the size charts on the product pages - or just ask them! (Or slyly check the tags on their existing shirts.)

FAQ

Is the No Such Thing as a Fish Classic T-Shirt true to size?

Yes, it's pre-shrunk and has a relaxed unisex fit. Most fans find their normal size works, but if they prefer a looser fit, size up.

What material is the Premium Hoodie made of?

The hoodie is a cotton-polyester blend (exact percentages on the product page) that's thick and soft. It's machine washable and holds its shape well.

Can I buy gift cards for the No Such Thing as a Fish store?

Gift cards are available on the store homepage. They're perfect if you're unsure about size or style.

How long does shipping take?

Standard shipping within North America usually takes 5-10 business days. International orders may take longer. Check the store's shipping policy for current estimates.

Where can I see all available merch?

You can explore the full collection on the official store. There's more than just tees and hoodies - check out the hats and accessories too!

Buying for a fan? The No Such Thing as a Fish Classic T-Shirt and Premium Hoodie are the safest picks for everyday wear - they work for birthdays, holidays, or just because. - -

Ready to grab yours? Check out the No Such Thing as a Fish Classic T-Shirt in the store.

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